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Wednesday 6th June 2001
Why didn't anyone here warn me of the fact that UK ducks are vicious
killing machines?? So I get out some bread to feed a group of ducks
by the river, and a huge gang of them gathers right at my feet,
surrounding me, staring at me with malevolence in their little duck
eyes, so I can't leave! I then start feeding them, but apparently not
quickly enough.. They start quacking menacingly at me, and then this
one duck starts biting me! I still have the beak mark on my jeans
(it's still there, and can prove I'm not making this up!) ! Then this
other one starts to join in, and, my mind flashing back to scenes from
"The Birds", I start becoming truly scared. I finally managed to
disperse them by throwing handfuls of bread chunks into the river and
whipping my hair around defensively, but I won't soon forget this
betrayal! I thought ducks were my friends! I didn't know they ever
attacked people unprovoked! The day they manage to start growing
teeth is the day we're all screwed.
Disturbed? You should be!
And then, later, I was giggled at mockingly by a group of schoolgirls,
but I think I'm now OK with that.
Jason Pants
Further comment from Glenys..
Oh, aye, well, I took jason into school today to wait before I went to
vote, and the rest of the day was occupied by people who would
normally not give me the time of day casually coming up to me and
casually, three sentences into the conversation, asking who that "Good
looking American lad" was (Jason is much better looking in RL than his
photos would indicate). And this was the _teachers! :))
Glenys
The observer corp has been briefed.
I've heard on the grapevine that the Waitrose checkout girls were
quite taken by a rather bemused young man with a wild haircut and
slightly odd clothes earlier this afternoon. I wonder who that
was?
--
Brian L.
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